What Is The Problem, Exactly?

When you're 14yrs and have a crush on a boy who doesn't seem to quite fancy you the way you want him to, school hours can be both a pleasure and a pain.

When you're 24 and your relationship ends because he's a lot less compatible than you initially thought, your weekends are pretty lonely but you are soon distracted by plans with friends and meeting new people.

When you're over 30 and don't seem to have met a person whom you deem worthy of spending the rest of your life with, you begin to wonder if such a person really exists.

What is the problem, exactly?

There doesn't seem to be a short supply of men. If they are strictly batting for the right team, we comb through his background for any pyschopathictendencies or knife-welding ex-girlfriends while running the risk of looking a little obsessive ourselves as we Google and Facebook every inch of his life.

When all looks relatively normal and safe, we begin our mission of making him fall for us - dressing in outfits that we think may be a style he fancies, acting as nonchalantly desirable as possible in his company and doing just above everything else short of using a love potion. Or sometimes even that.

This is the part where the plan is most likely to fall apart. We are thrown back to the realm of teenage-hood where the guy is either obvious, too intimated or not bothered enough to pursue with peoms and flowers.

What is it that we should do? Nowadays men of the 'right age', looks and financial bracket are thinner than a cling wrap.

This is when many women of our generation realise that this advanced and equal society comes at a price.

Men see us not as the precious and fragile flower we were once perceived and treated as. We are now their counterparts, their competitors or even their bosses.

Can we blame them for being intimated or even a little afraid?

Source: Xandria Ooi, The Star

Further are my opinions. These can be argued as wrong or agreed.

1. First. It takes a great courage for a guy to say "I love you" to the girl he loves. He could say that because he believes in himself. He therefore, should be considered to be considered.

2. For those who are in relationship, appreciate what you have now. Guys are guys. They can't be thinking like girls. So, it takes a big effort to change them if you wanted to and it is not a one year or two year thing.

3. For those who are now in late 20's and early 30's and still single, open your eyes again. Do not yet draw a square or a circle around you that stops a guy to approach you.

Declare beauty again

1Malaysia..... Really meh...

Our new Prime Minister, Najib, has come up with a new vision of the governing party and enhance it to the vision of whole nation. Well. It is a necessary path to take to ensure that the governing party stays strong with the support of the nation. Yeap... I am sharing about '1Malaysia'.

The nation is looking forward for everyone to tolerate everyone. And with tolerance, we live in harmony. Doesn't matter that you are a Malay, or a Chinese or an Indian, we all could live in harmony...Bla..bla..bla..

It's either our Prime Minister did not realise his vision properly, or the media dont get what our PM is thinking. But I could see clearly that our media is not on the right track on this vision or I may call it as our government's policy.

First. Each one of us are special and different from others even to a very specific group of people. Another Indian would have a very different practice from me. Infact, another Tamil would have a different believe, family traditions and more.. Once, when I was in CSS'09 camp at Port Dickson, there was a topic on Stereotype. In that topic, all the participants were separated in pairs of different races and to share about our culture, believes, food and many more. Then, the sharing was opened to the floor and one Indian guy, I believe he is a Tamil, shared that Indians are not allowed to find their life partners. Parents arrange them. Well. Definitely my parents are okay with me finding my partner. Infact, both my parents are once lovers. Coming back to the point, differences should not be tolerated but should be accepted. I could firmly say that nobody understands anybody, totally. Stop trying to understand and accept with love.

Second. The media has failed to see that Malaysia is formed with more than three races. All I could see in the advertisements is UMNO, MCA and MIC. And I really dont know why it should be UMNO, MCA and MIC. Why not MCA, MIC and UMNO or MIC, UMNO and MCA?
In West Malaysia itself, we have Baba Nyonya, Portugese, Sikhs, Orang Asli and lots more that I dont know. In East we have Bidayuh, Kadazan, Murud, Melanau, Iban, Dayak and lots more.

Adding to the second point. What about those who are mixed? One positive point of people who are mixed that it is hard to be racist to them. Infact I have tried to a friend of friend of mine, whom I call 'Dude'.

Once, when we are eating at a restaurant with some extra friends, we popped a topic on races. Suddenly, Dude got angry and I was telling him this,

Me: Dude. You are angry because you are a.....mmm......mmm......... What the hell are you?

It is really hard to be racist to a mixed person. Dont ever try it.

To add with the above, I would love to have my children mixed breeds.

Salam 1Malaysia people. And to non-Malaysians, peace be with you.

The Moon Represents My Heart

You ask me how deep my love is for you,
How much I really love you...

My affection is real.
My love is real.
The moon represents my heart.

You ask me how deep my love is for you,
How much I really love you...

My affection does not waver,
My love will not change.
The moon represents my heart.

Just one soft kiss
is enough to move my heart.
A period of time when our affection was deep,
Until now makes me miss you.

You ask me how deep my love is for you,
How much I really love you

Go and think about it.
Go and have a look,
The moon represents my heart.

Life is Unfair and Yet It Is Beautiful

Life is not so fair.... Once again life is revealing it's truth.

Comfort is many people's dream. Many of us wanted comfort living. Me too not so different. But again my employee's words always have come to my mind and reminding me why I shouldn't look for comfort for now.

His words are, "Never say that you are comfortable with the current job. You shouldn't be."
And, "Ordinary people, extra-ordinary performance."
He has many more, but these are more suitable for my sharings.

I feel comfortable if I don't work. Better if not waking up early every morning, but discipline mould a person to be a survivor.

I feel comfortable if I just do my job, without being curious and learning new things, but learning leads me to broader pool of knowledge.

I feel comfortable if I never ask questions and make myself look like an idiot, but by asking questions I teach myself more than the person who don't.

I feel comfortable if I reject to take lead on some jobs, but by being a project runner, I sharpen my project handling skill and at the same time I am becoming a trustworthy person to my employees.

I feel comfortable if I never make myself busy serving in church's choir, youth ministry both parish and diocese level, being active in Bahasa Malaysia Apostolate (KUBM), and also allocate some time to visit my friends in Nilai, but I have some knowledge and talents that are worthful if I share them.

I feel comfortable if I never wanted to start a relationship, just being her friend, and stay single since being in relationship with her could be very challenging in many angles, but I love her and challenges occur at any relationship.

When I look at the opposite site of comfort, burdens are waiting there. If I stay at comfort zone, I would be forever an ordinary person. But beyond burdens, comfort is waiting. That comfort is more precious because it is earned. I wanted to earn my comfort and therefore I could happily say that life is unfair and yet it is beautiful.

Declare beauty again

Good Hearts Fixing Life Partner

In a few years, I would be 30yr...Usually, at my age, many Indian guys would already got married or planning to get married soon with ready life partners. It is not so different in my life too, but the thing is, people around me are more excited to see me getting married soon than me.

Within my family, my aunties would like to look for me a nice Indian girl. When they told my parents infront of me of their intention, my mom just smiled and said, "When the time comes, he will get married".
I could read my mom's mind. She wished I could be a priest rather than getting married but I could see that there are some changes in her heart recently. Unlike my mom, my father's side would like to see me getting married to an Indian, and if possible, a girl from India.

Since I am serving for Bahasa Malaysia Eucharistic Celebration in church, there are people with different opinions. My church has a good number of Ibans. I serve with them and I do activities with them too. And there were sometimes where they asked me that I would like to marry an Ibanese. Moreover, sometimes I hangout at my "kakak angkat" 's residence. She is an Iban, but her husband is a Bidayuh. Amy, her sister-in-law, who is my age stays there too. Amy and I are good friends. We are like a tag-team in church's activities. I could rely on her on administration stuffs and she relies on me on getting things work. Together, we make a great working team. But people misunderstood our relationship and even wanted me to propose her. Haiz... "Babi sama babi mah. Sure bisa kerja bersama." We were born in 1983, the year of pig.

Nevertheless, there are a small community of Kadazans in my church who are great singers. My sweetheart, Phoebe Ng, is a Kadazan too, but she is more Chinese than Kadazan. Mom Chinese/Kadazan-Dusun. Father is a Chinese. There were at some occasion that they would like to see me getting married to a Sabahan, but definitely not Phoebe Ng. She is 21yr different.

Lately, I was thinking about these. Why these things happening? And I could come up with only one answer. It is because of the God's blessing. He has blessed me with a gift to blend with any community regardless race, age, and religion. I thank my Lord for this gift and I pray that He will continue to bless me with this gift.

Last but not least, I would like to marry only my love. I wish this is possible.

How I see marriage

Recently, somebody argued with me that it is okay to leave a man that could not provide wealth, does not have a good education background and the capability to earn a lot of money. She was arguing with me unrealizing that I was actually looking at relationship on another perpective and not opposing her thought.

When a girl chooses her man based on his wealth, education, and capability to earn, she is making a choice. This is not from love, but I wouldn't deny that there are successful marriages born from this choice. Marrying the man whom a girl or a woman has loved, doesn't guarantee a successful marriage too.

Marriage is a risk. If you are looking at a bussiness perspective, it is like an investment in shares. If in construction, it is like building a mega structure. Anytime, a small mistake could bring a big disaster.

We take risk marrying a stranger, though he or she is not totally stranger, but he/she is at a certain extend. We take risk making baby/ies. Children change our budget flow. We take risk in buying property for family. We take risk in buying insurance, choosing school and education for children, and so on.

Many of us could agree that marriage is a risk. But when we could say marriage is love and if we realize and could see that love is love, and no other things or whatever could replace 'love', and because love stands by itself without any other word that matches it. What is the better way to describe a marriage?

Marriage is from love. We choose a better man or woman as our partner. But is it out of love? If we love the person we choose, then there is no wrong in choosing. But if couldn't love the person we choose, then make sacrifices to sustain the marriage.

Quarrel for Quality

Two days ago, I was talking to my friend about the current happenings. Suddenly, he popped-out a suprise that he would be getting himself registered with his girlfriend soon. I've asked him, "Why not you wait until you could get married instead of getting only legally registered?"
Anyway he is a Hindu. And I could say more than that if he is a Catholic, ...%#@#..

Then he was telling me about how he and his gf always have different opinions on things. He said that they would always start with a quarrel and end up hugging each other.. Hahaha....Each of them has quality of thinking, ideas, leadership and a different point of view that make their relationship maturing everyday. If either of them just goes along with another's opinion, they would produce a bad quality result at the end.

Further to this topic, he was telling me on how he finds that I am sometimes able to give some ideas that are good and unique. I have inherit them for my parents because they always have different opinions. And most of the time, I would see them quarreling to each other to produce a solution.

Then at sudden, my mind was flying beyond present to some possibilities. If I and 'her' always have differences in opinions, beyond quarrel I would probably get a fly-kick on my face and an Aikido slam as a finishing move. And on floor I would lie for an hour or more. Hehe...