Pray For Your Relationship

Once when I read an article at yahoo.match.com. They listed some points of positive signs of how two person could click to each other.

1. The other person keeps the momentum going
2. The other person knows the value of a phone call
3. This person pays attention to details

So basically, if one of the two unfailingly keep the momentum going, communicate and giving attention, the relationship would be successful. So coming to the norm of my style asking question after reading any article, "Really meh?"

I have done all these to my previous crush but they never worked out.

The only way I see that a relationship could click is adding to these 'must do' things, the 'must must do' thing will be 'Pray for the relationship'. What else could be greater than God's blessing?

Zhongguo Xinnian Kuaile

Reaching the particular days soon, I know I know but I won’t be blogging about Zhongguo Xinnian on the days. For those of you who doesn’t understand what is ‘Zhongguo Xinnian’, Zhongguo means Chinese also China, and Xinnian means New Year, and Kuaile completes the greeting ‘Happy Chinese New Year’. Kuaile is Happy in greeting. Okay. I maybe wrong since I’m very amateur in Chinese.

Back to my school days when I was in Standard One, my first Chinese friend, Chindian actually, Dinesh Hong. And my first enemy in the same class eventually became friend, Gan Chun Bee. I was competing with Dinesh in studies when I was in Primary school. I do not know whether he has noticed that before. Dinesh mostly faired better than me in test and exams and we always end up at top five in them. Gan Chun Bee although has spoiled my stationeries and sometime steal them too, it is because of him I got 100% in my English Final Test during Standard One. That naughty guy eventually became a prefect in school. Anyhow we are not in touch now but I still remember them. Hope we would be bumped into each other one day.

The first Chinese woman that I had crush on is my English teacher in Standard Six. Haha. I don’t remember her name. She was a petite with glasses and thin. Can’t talk much about her. Teacher. Must RESPECT!!.

And the first Chinese child who became so close to me, Phoebe Ng. I like children but who don’t. She is very adorable to many because she has a gut to approach and talk to anyone no matter what is their age, but she is also a shy person sometimes. Everytime I takes her picture, she will give me a look like she wanted to bash my face. But I am guy that likes to take candid shots. I would say that her parents are really blessed and she is blessed with a wonderful mother. I do not about her father because I have never met him but he must be a wonderful man too. I am hoping to see her growing up into a beautiful woman one day. Things might change in time. People might move or migrate.

In New Year, new resolutions, new hope, new commitment, new dream occurs and some are still to be continued. No matter what, Chinese community has been always giving a wonderful environment during the season. The colour of red and gold, the oranges, the series of songs in television, the good back to back movies, and not forgetting the fire-crackers and lion dance. That’s the time that we get bonuses from employer to be given away as ang-paus. Note that. “ANG-PAU”. So when I come to your house this New Year, ehem, please give me your bonus in Ang-pau packet.

Have a Prosperous New Year everybody. GONG XI FA CHAI!!!.

If my sentences are like clumsy bear, please pardon me because I couldn't concentrate with my typing since I'm having a severe pain on my right shoulder. Thank you

Silly and Jolly with FOUR Letter Words

Words are powerful. They can poignant a person. They can sensationalize a person’s emotion. They can challenge a person. They can zeal a person. They can make a person to fall in love. They can give happiness to a person. They can tease a person. They can annoy. They can even kill a person or give purpose to live.

Recently I had a bulb suddenly beamed on top of my head about FOUR letter words. So I thought of sharing on what I could think of.

The poignant type:
What would be your feelings when the people that you love so much says, “I HATE you!”?
That word can prick through our hearts and bring down the spirit of even a steel-hearted person.

The sensation type:
When a teenage boy gets a reply from his crush, “I LIKE you too”, now that’s the ‘you cannot catch me cause I’m flying in the air now’ feeling. It’s a bit different from “I love you” in terms of at what maturity level crush happens.

The challenging type:
FAIL. That’s the word that we always try to avoid in every task we do. For example when we are playing Playstation game, we do not want our character to fail the mission, especially when we are eager to see the challenges waiting for the next round.

The zeal type:
I would like quote the Billi Lim’s best selling book’s title, “DARE To Fail”. The title explained well of the contents. One of the phrases in his book is, ‘Success is at the far sight of failure. We always pass a patch called failure on our way to success.’

The falling in love type:
Definitely it is the universal language, “I LOVE you”. This word is more likely to give higher emotional impact on females. The word ‘LOVE’ hardly comes out from a guy’s mouth. Easy for a guy to say, “I like you” for he knows the commitment he can promise is less than “I love you.” But when a guy truly loves his girl, his simple “I love you” is the magical charm in his relationship.

The happiness type:
Back to our kindergarten years, getting 100% in our maths at Form Five is never like getting stars with the word ‘GOOD’. We would bring back that marked assignment and bother our parents to show those stars and ‘Good’ remarks though those were given because we counted the apples and balls correctly. To prove it, how many of us did the same at Form Five?

The teasing type:
One of my friends who is a non-Hindu, Chinese craving for ‘Murukku’, an Indian chips or bites served especially during Deepavali. Few days after the festival, she posted that she wanted ‘Murukku’ in her Facebook. I commented, “BURP” and she replied, “So EVIL”. Like she felt teased with my, “burp”, and I felt teased too with her, “So evil”. It’s down grading my talent on teasing. She supposed to say, “So devil” rather than, “so evil”. Haiz…

The annoying type:
Try calling your girlfriend ‘BABE’ constantly everyday. But don’t just stop with that. Try more like, “Ma babe feelin fine? Aint no drugs for yo, but ma got sugar for ma babe. I luv yo babe.”
Well. They can be very nice for somedays but, gradually will annoy your girl.
Yo do wan to see yo babe replying “swt -.-!” dontcha?

The murdering type:
It’s none other than the word ‘HATE’ again. Do not ever tell this word to your parents deep from your heart. This word can slowly kill them.

The purpose to live type:
Purpose to live that I meant here is not purpose to stay alive but to live life abundantly. Especially to parents, how did you feel when your child called you MAMA or PAPA?
How do you feel when you remember back the moments where your child would run to you with wide stretched arms and shouting in joy, “MAMA!!!!” or “PAPA!!!”?
And of cause that the child will grow up and make your life miserable in future but, can anything else equal the moments of those two words?

Last but not least is about me. First would be my name, ANBU. Anbu means LOVE in Tamil and it carries a great meaning to me.
Secondly would be the name that my friend, Yoanna gave me. “BUBU.” I assume that she loves dogs so much that the only way she could show her love is by treating me like a dog. Well. Maybe for my next birthday she will buy me a collar. Whatever makes her happy?
Finally for granddaughter Nicole, my LAME jokes. They are inseparable from me, girl. Catch you sometimes for snooker.
CHAO!

Girls Are Kicking Balls Around Nowadays

Before I begin, I know what you are thinking, boys. -.-! (Whatever makes you happy?)

When I was in high school, a male teacher (can’t remember his name) told my class that those days Form Sixes are dominated by male students, but today situation has changed. Universities, Elite Classes, Curricular Competitions and Grades are dominated by females.

If you look at the Employment Field, many females are white collared compare to males, but the fact is (referring to today’s, 05 October 2010 http://www.msn.com/ main page topic) female employees are still less paid at average compare to male employees.

Very often, we read people blame the education system not being fair to the boys and female employees are paid low because of their maternity.

Based on my experience as a male student who comes from the background of all-boys schools, I did see there is a lot of difference between having many male teachers around and having few or none. When I was in primary, we had many male teachers in my school. For us, those were the great days. People say about fatherly love often is the reason why having male teachers around could give some impact on the boys’ academic performance. It is not about fatherly love. We boys like to be rough and act macho and immature among us. When we need to be motivated, we need a male teacher. When we do sports, we need a male teacher. When we are fighting with our schoolmates, we need a male teacher. And I mean a real ‘MALE’ teacher. We need somebody who can pull down our egos, discipline us, and make us to be serious in studies but at the same time to provide us fun (football, basketball, hockey) when we are bored of studying. In short, we need somebody who can make boys remain boys while excelling. If a female teacher wants to do these, she must be the dominating type and not many female teachers can do so. So to handle the many number of boys, supplies of a few male teachers are not enough.

This may look like some excuses to cover the decreasing grades and performance of the boys, but it is true that psychological readiness is important for male students to face challenges like boys. Schools are the basic platforms for whatever types of males we are producing for this country.

But to be fair to girls, the current education situation is gradually firming their potentiality. It will be not fair to them if we go back to what the education system was. Somewhere the system must draw back the boys into its runway.

For the employment part I will leave it first.

Phone Marriage

On Monday, I read an article in the Sun about Phone Marriage. Yes. Phone Marriage, a new way of getting married long distance these days.

"Bleat-bleat! Hello? Who's speaking? Will you marry me? Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today over this crackly phone line to celebrate holy matrimony." Source, The Sun.

What kind of an idiot will do this? I mean, even if you know that person, why this should be an option? Who knows that someone could be getting married through phone while he's in a bed with another guy. Well just giving an example of extreme possibilities.

Imagine Justin Lim is getting married through phone, and maybe he invited me to be his witness. Well, I would still be glad to volunteer myself as a witness just to enjoy the show. He says, "I do." She says, "I do, too."

After a month, she flew in to Malaysia to meet her husband for the first time. I would gladly arrange their honeymoon at a nice, romantic, expensive place for these beautiful and handsome couple, just to get a shock from him on his honeymoon night. "Anbu!!... She got balls!!..."

"Err.. Justin... Isn't that a little bit too much to tell about your wife to me like this?", says me.

"No!.. I mean, she got balls, below!.. Help me, Anbu... Please... Help me...", says Justin, crying..

NB: This story has never happened. It is just a precaution example. Have a nice day, guys.

7th May on Investment

Talking about investment... how do you see investment in your life?... What does the word investment means to you?

Today, 7th May, is the last day of industrial practice for two trainees from TAR college at the place I work. During lunch, we were talking about investment. We shared our opinions about it and came up with some further thoughts.

The way I see investment is almost every relevant thing could be an investment. The education, work, adventure, savings, share market, royalty, insurance, sharing thoughts, practicing skills... every relevant things and happenings around us could be some investments. For each of them brings good and improvement. So investment is not always about money only.

During our conversation, Liew, on of the trainee asked me, "How about girlfriend? Isn't she could be some sort of investment too?"

Well. Behind every man's success, there is a woman. She could be your mother, sister, grandma, a friend, a best friend, sister-in-law, a relative, girlfriend and even the one you love the most other than these people, your 'inspiration'. But no love should be conditional so I disagree if they should be seen as investments to some men.

Every things and happenings that could bring improvement to our self, to our intellectual, to our pocket, to our every bid of us as persons and gladly take up the challenge for the future and their benefits. To chase our dream/s, everything that is benefiting is significant.

But....Sometimes to do good, we need to sacrifice our dream/s. And you and I know that our love for our dream/s never fades.

What Is The Problem, Exactly?

When you're 14yrs and have a crush on a boy who doesn't seem to quite fancy you the way you want him to, school hours can be both a pleasure and a pain.

When you're 24 and your relationship ends because he's a lot less compatible than you initially thought, your weekends are pretty lonely but you are soon distracted by plans with friends and meeting new people.

When you're over 30 and don't seem to have met a person whom you deem worthy of spending the rest of your life with, you begin to wonder if such a person really exists.

What is the problem, exactly?

There doesn't seem to be a short supply of men. If they are strictly batting for the right team, we comb through his background for any pyschopathictendencies or knife-welding ex-girlfriends while running the risk of looking a little obsessive ourselves as we Google and Facebook every inch of his life.

When all looks relatively normal and safe, we begin our mission of making him fall for us - dressing in outfits that we think may be a style he fancies, acting as nonchalantly desirable as possible in his company and doing just above everything else short of using a love potion. Or sometimes even that.

This is the part where the plan is most likely to fall apart. We are thrown back to the realm of teenage-hood where the guy is either obvious, too intimated or not bothered enough to pursue with peoms and flowers.

What is it that we should do? Nowadays men of the 'right age', looks and financial bracket are thinner than a cling wrap.

This is when many women of our generation realise that this advanced and equal society comes at a price.

Men see us not as the precious and fragile flower we were once perceived and treated as. We are now their counterparts, their competitors or even their bosses.

Can we blame them for being intimated or even a little afraid?

Source: Xandria Ooi, The Star

Further are my opinions. These can be argued as wrong or agreed.

1. First. It takes a great courage for a guy to say "I love you" to the girl he loves. He could say that because he believes in himself. He therefore, should be considered to be considered.

2. For those who are in relationship, appreciate what you have now. Guys are guys. They can't be thinking like girls. So, it takes a big effort to change them if you wanted to and it is not a one year or two year thing.

3. For those who are now in late 20's and early 30's and still single, open your eyes again. Do not yet draw a square or a circle around you that stops a guy to approach you.

Declare beauty again

1Malaysia..... Really meh...

Our new Prime Minister, Najib, has come up with a new vision of the governing party and enhance it to the vision of whole nation. Well. It is a necessary path to take to ensure that the governing party stays strong with the support of the nation. Yeap... I am sharing about '1Malaysia'.

The nation is looking forward for everyone to tolerate everyone. And with tolerance, we live in harmony. Doesn't matter that you are a Malay, or a Chinese or an Indian, we all could live in harmony...Bla..bla..bla..

It's either our Prime Minister did not realise his vision properly, or the media dont get what our PM is thinking. But I could see clearly that our media is not on the right track on this vision or I may call it as our government's policy.

First. Each one of us are special and different from others even to a very specific group of people. Another Indian would have a very different practice from me. Infact, another Tamil would have a different believe, family traditions and more.. Once, when I was in CSS'09 camp at Port Dickson, there was a topic on Stereotype. In that topic, all the participants were separated in pairs of different races and to share about our culture, believes, food and many more. Then, the sharing was opened to the floor and one Indian guy, I believe he is a Tamil, shared that Indians are not allowed to find their life partners. Parents arrange them. Well. Definitely my parents are okay with me finding my partner. Infact, both my parents are once lovers. Coming back to the point, differences should not be tolerated but should be accepted. I could firmly say that nobody understands anybody, totally. Stop trying to understand and accept with love.

Second. The media has failed to see that Malaysia is formed with more than three races. All I could see in the advertisements is UMNO, MCA and MIC. And I really dont know why it should be UMNO, MCA and MIC. Why not MCA, MIC and UMNO or MIC, UMNO and MCA?
In West Malaysia itself, we have Baba Nyonya, Portugese, Sikhs, Orang Asli and lots more that I dont know. In East we have Bidayuh, Kadazan, Murud, Melanau, Iban, Dayak and lots more.

Adding to the second point. What about those who are mixed? One positive point of people who are mixed that it is hard to be racist to them. Infact I have tried to a friend of friend of mine, whom I call 'Dude'.

Once, when we are eating at a restaurant with some extra friends, we popped a topic on races. Suddenly, Dude got angry and I was telling him this,

Me: Dude. You are angry because you are a.....mmm......mmm......... What the hell are you?

It is really hard to be racist to a mixed person. Dont ever try it.

To add with the above, I would love to have my children mixed breeds.

Salam 1Malaysia people. And to non-Malaysians, peace be with you.

All Guys Are The Same

Have you ever heard girls complaining, "All guys are the same"?... Is it really true?.. Well if it is, I am proud to be a guy..

Basically, this complain occurs when the girl got frustrated with our attitude or dissapointed with us. These words could evoke the ego of a guy, and he will get angry or maybe broken hearted. Why should you react these ways? Think positively.

"All guys are the same" tells us that we share a lot in common. Undisputedly, most of the guys know what is masturbation, how fun it is when disturbing girls, how not to get serious in a relationship with a girl, how an exposure of our favourite body part of a girl could turn us on, how a sexy chic passing by could attract our attention, and so on..

And at the same time, we also know what is being a gentleman, how to respect the girls, what is serious relationship with a girl, how not to look a girl as a sex symbol only, and so on..

Mostly every guy have these knowledges and attitudes. It is only depends on how extreme a guy is involved in these above matters. When a girl complains, "All guys are the same", she is true and that is what making a guy, a guy. If you could find a guy that is totally different from any other guys, probably, he is cheating on you about his attitude or probably, he is not a guy at all.

If a girl wanted to have a relationship with a guy, she must accept the fact that all guys are the same. Afterall, we shouldn't blame girls of this mindset because they are humans too. Humans have a lot of expectations, but love could cease expectations away. Love is unconditional.

So to all guys. Be happy when a girl says to you, "All guys are the same" because she agrees that you are born with a dick. But please respect their opinion though they could be wrong. Afterall, they are our inspiration.

Money or Love?

One of my friend who was having his own bussiness went bankrupt because his partner cheated him and ran away with the company's money. This has happened a few months ago, but i do not know until he rang me up. Since that day, I was journeying with his suffering and tried my best to help him find a job, getting him a motorcycle license and ext.

As I was sometimes visiting and had some chat with him, he told me that though he is broken, he felt that he is still lucky to have his girlfriend supporting him to pay his credit card debt as he is having debt on loan to pay. I felt very impressed and immediately I felt a high respect on her.

My friend told me, "Anbu. Do you think that any Chinese girl would do as what she is doing if they are facing the same situation?" He questioned me such way not because he is racist, but because he is an Indian and his girlfriend is a Chinese.

I could only smile and say in my heart, "Why it should be Chinese girl. Shouldn't any girl of any race could do the same thing? I dont see any different between a Chinese and any other race. We are all human race"

My friend is a very hardworking person. I sometimes feel ashamed to compare myself with him. He is good in Public Relation, good in Marketing, good in keeping contacts, good in delivering job in time and as an Indian, he could speak Cantonese fluently. He has every qualities of a Malaysian bussinessman should have except one thing. He easily trust his friends, and that is not a good thing in bussiness. "Don't trust anybody in bussiness." That's what he should have done but it was too late for this time.

I believe that he could come back again. I have never doubted his determination and capability to be successful again, though he is having a very tough time facing what he has lost, now.

Coming back to his girlfriend. Both of them knew and been together for nine, long years. She was then a sales girl with poor English and Bahasa Malaysia command. Her SPM result too was poor plus with her parents did not support her to further study due to they felt ashamed of her. My friend, then was already making good income working as a sales person. He supported her to take up some computer courses, continued with UBS training, and went to do Accountant course and now she is doing LCCI. He even gave some money of RM8000 for her to buy a car. And now, she is living a respectful life as her parents no more feel ashamed of her.

But yesterday, she called up my friend and said that she would like to break-up with him because he is worthless. I am not making up on the word 'worthless' because this is what exactly the word she used. I do not need to further say how my friend felt about this.

Coming back to 'love life'. I don't exactly get the point why money is more important than a man's capability to be successful, for some girls? Is money is the most important thing?

You could say, money is important because of financial support. I would say I agree with you, but how worthful is money compare to the believe of a woman on a man that he could be successful? A man with a vision, a dream, and working towards it, is a successful man to be. He is not a cheap person because he is working towards his success. Falling on the way, is usual, but coming back is the most important.

If you ask me, I would want a girl that together with me on the journey to be a successful person, as I would be walking with her towards her success. I am not talking a success within 2 or 3 years. I am talking about 8 to 10 years time. I dont believe in short time success. It is not very concrete.

I read an article on the Star today. A boyfriend says this to his girlfriend,"I love you even during the days when I dont feel it so much." The girl replied, "What? You mean you dont love me on certain days?!"

The boyfriend says, "No. I do love you very much. There are times when I feel it more, like when we are both happy. feeling in love is important, but what we do and the action we take when we're upset with each other and not in the 'in love' mode is more important."

Sorry to say this but I really look down on girls that think that money is the most important.

Wo Mei Zi Zi

This month, I have finished my probation of 3 months and my salary increased. Not so much but still I am happy that some money going to EPF and some extra money for my own investment.
Moreover, Valentine's Day falls on this month too but unfortunetly nobody could enjoy my treat. Being single also gives some positive results especially when you could save some money in the month of February.
Anyway, for those guys who would like to make your girlfriends happy, buy some flowers. Don't ignore my point of view just because I am single. The formula actually works.

Gay guy + Nosegay of flower = Gay girl -------> Gay couple

Matter of Sexes

Men and women are different; they are hardwired differently. Most women want men to think like women but reality is, men can't think like women. Most men don't think about women thinking about men.
Then again women get along very well with gay men. Gay men are hardwired as women.
The basic template of a human being is that we all start as girls. Six weeks after conception, the brain's templates change because of male hormones. If you don't get enough male hormones to change the template, the brain remains female. That is biological after all.
A man will form a relationship or marry a woman based on a premise that does not work. He marries her thinking that 'she is a beautiful woman, I love everything about her, and we are having perfect sex life. And that she will never change'.
Because of hormonal structures in a woman's body changes every 10 years or so (especially after she has given birth), she becomes a different person.
So essentially, a woman in her 20s is different when she gets to be in her 30s, and changes again when she is in her 40s and so on.
When it comes to a woman, she will have 10 things that she wants in a perfect guy. Then she finds a guy with three of those things and says that it doesn't matter because 'when he is with me I will change him'.
Reality is, men don't change. A man in his 20s is still the same guy in his 40s, only he is fatter and balder.

I love this conversation

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
dude: I love her more than the air I breath
chick: well im always here for you.
dude: I know.
chick: What's wrong???
dude: I like her so much.
chick: Talk to her.
dude: I don't know. She won't ever like me.
chick: Don't say that. You're amazing.
dude: I just want her to know how I feel.
chick: Then tell her.
dude: She won't like me.
chick: How do you know that?
dude: I can just tell.
chick: Well just tell her.
dude: What should I say?
chick: Tell her how much you like her.
dude: I tell her that daily.
chick: what do you mean?
dude: I'm always with her. I love her.
chick: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll never like me.
dude: Wait. Who do you like?
chick: Oh some boy.
dude: Oh... she won't like me either.
chick: She does.
dude: How do you know?
chick: Because, who wouldn't like you?
dude: You.
chick: You're wrong, I love you.
dude: I love you too.
chick: So are you going to talk to her?
dude: I just did.