Evolution

From the joker.....


To friendly pal.......


To wannabe serious guy......

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But still a bit retarded....


To weirdo....


Aha..A bit changed......


This is my look now, baby....

What Is The Problem, Exactly?

When you're 14yrs and have a crush on a boy who doesn't seem to quite fancy you the way you want him to, school hours can be both a pleasure and a pain.

When you're 24 and your relationship ends because he's a lot less compatible than you initially thought, your weekends are pretty lonely but you are soon distracted by plans with friends and meeting new people.

When you're over 30 and don't seem to have met a person whom you deem worthy of spending the rest of your life with, you begin to wonder if such a person really exists.

What is the problem, exactly?

There doesn't seem to be a short supply of men. If they are strictly batting for the right team, we comb through his background for any pyschopathictendencies or knife-welding ex-girlfriends while running the risk of looking a little obsessive ourselves as we Google and Facebook every inch of his life.

When all looks relatively normal and safe, we begin our mission of making him fall for us - dressing in outfits that we think may be a style he fancies, acting as nonchalantly desirable as possible in his company and doing just above everything else short of using a love potion. Or sometimes even that.

This is the part where the plan is most likely to fall apart. We are thrown back to the realm of teenage-hood where the guy is either obvious, too intimated or not bothered enough to pursue with peoms and flowers.

What is it that we should do? Nowadays men of the 'right age', looks and financial bracket are thinner than a cling wrap.

This is when many women of our generation realise that this advanced and equal society comes at a price.

Men see us not as the precious and fragile flower we were once perceived and treated as. We are now their counterparts, their competitors or even their bosses.

Can we blame them for being intimated or even a little afraid?

Source: Xandria Ooi, The Star

Further are my opinions. These can be argued as wrong or agreed.

1. First. It takes a great courage for a guy to say "I love you" to the girl he loves. He could say that because he believes in himself. He therefore, should be considered to be considered.

2. For those who are in relationship, appreciate what you have now. Guys are guys. They can't be thinking like girls. So, it takes a big effort to change them if you wanted to and it is not a one year or two year thing.

3. For those who are now in late 20's and early 30's and still single, open your eyes again. Do not yet draw a square or a circle around you that stops a guy to approach you.

Declare beauty again

1Malaysia..... Really meh...

Our new Prime Minister, Najib, has come up with a new vision of the governing party and enhance it to the vision of whole nation. Well. It is a necessary path to take to ensure that the governing party stays strong with the support of the nation. Yeap... I am sharing about '1Malaysia'.

The nation is looking forward for everyone to tolerate everyone. And with tolerance, we live in harmony. Doesn't matter that you are a Malay, or a Chinese or an Indian, we all could live in harmony...Bla..bla..bla..

It's either our Prime Minister did not realise his vision properly, or the media dont get what our PM is thinking. But I could see clearly that our media is not on the right track on this vision or I may call it as our government's policy.

First. Each one of us are special and different from others even to a very specific group of people. Another Indian would have a very different practice from me. Infact, another Tamil would have a different believe, family traditions and more.. Once, when I was in CSS'09 camp at Port Dickson, there was a topic on Stereotype. In that topic, all the participants were separated in pairs of different races and to share about our culture, believes, food and many more. Then, the sharing was opened to the floor and one Indian guy, I believe he is a Tamil, shared that Indians are not allowed to find their life partners. Parents arrange them. Well. Definitely my parents are okay with me finding my partner. Infact, both my parents are once lovers. Coming back to the point, differences should not be tolerated but should be accepted. I could firmly say that nobody understands anybody, totally. Stop trying to understand and accept with love.

Second. The media has failed to see that Malaysia is formed with more than three races. All I could see in the advertisements is UMNO, MCA and MIC. And I really dont know why it should be UMNO, MCA and MIC. Why not MCA, MIC and UMNO or MIC, UMNO and MCA?
In West Malaysia itself, we have Baba Nyonya, Portugese, Sikhs, Orang Asli and lots more that I dont know. In East we have Bidayuh, Kadazan, Murud, Melanau, Iban, Dayak and lots more.

Adding to the second point. What about those who are mixed? One positive point of people who are mixed that it is hard to be racist to them. Infact I have tried to a friend of friend of mine, whom I call 'Dude'.

Once, when we are eating at a restaurant with some extra friends, we popped a topic on races. Suddenly, Dude got angry and I was telling him this,

Me: Dude. You are angry because you are a.....mmm......mmm......... What the hell are you?

It is really hard to be racist to a mixed person. Dont ever try it.

To add with the above, I would love to have my children mixed breeds.

Salam 1Malaysia people. And to non-Malaysians, peace be with you.

The Moon Represents My Heart

You ask me how deep my love is for you,
How much I really love you...

My affection is real.
My love is real.
The moon represents my heart.

You ask me how deep my love is for you,
How much I really love you...

My affection does not waver,
My love will not change.
The moon represents my heart.

Just one soft kiss
is enough to move my heart.
A period of time when our affection was deep,
Until now makes me miss you.

You ask me how deep my love is for you,
How much I really love you

Go and think about it.
Go and have a look,
The moon represents my heart.

Life is Unfair and Yet It Is Beautiful

Life is not so fair.... Once again life is revealing it's truth.

Comfort is many people's dream. Many of us wanted comfort living. Me too not so different. But again my employee's words always have come to my mind and reminding me why I shouldn't look for comfort for now.

His words are, "Never say that you are comfortable with the current job. You shouldn't be."
And, "Ordinary people, extra-ordinary performance."
He has many more, but these are more suitable for my sharings.

I feel comfortable if I don't work. Better if not waking up early every morning, but discipline mould a person to be a survivor.

I feel comfortable if I just do my job, without being curious and learning new things, but learning leads me to broader pool of knowledge.

I feel comfortable if I never ask questions and make myself look like an idiot, but by asking questions I teach myself more than the person who don't.

I feel comfortable if I reject to take lead on some jobs, but by being a project runner, I sharpen my project handling skill and at the same time I am becoming a trustworthy person to my employees.

I feel comfortable if I never make myself busy serving in church's choir, youth ministry both parish and diocese level, being active in Bahasa Malaysia Apostolate (KUBM), and also allocate some time to visit my friends in Nilai, but I have some knowledge and talents that are worthful if I share them.

I feel comfortable if I never wanted to start a relationship, just being her friend, and stay single since being in relationship with her could be very challenging in many angles, but I love her and challenges occur at any relationship.

When I look at the opposite site of comfort, burdens are waiting there. If I stay at comfort zone, I would be forever an ordinary person. But beyond burdens, comfort is waiting. That comfort is more precious because it is earned. I wanted to earn my comfort and therefore I could happily say that life is unfair and yet it is beautiful.

Declare beauty again

Good Hearts Fixing Life Partner

In a few years, I would be 30yr...Usually, at my age, many Indian guys would already got married or planning to get married soon with ready life partners. It is not so different in my life too, but the thing is, people around me are more excited to see me getting married soon than me.

Within my family, my aunties would like to look for me a nice Indian girl. When they told my parents infront of me of their intention, my mom just smiled and said, "When the time comes, he will get married".
I could read my mom's mind. She wished I could be a priest rather than getting married but I could see that there are some changes in her heart recently. Unlike my mom, my father's side would like to see me getting married to an Indian, and if possible, a girl from India.

Since I am serving for Bahasa Malaysia Eucharistic Celebration in church, there are people with different opinions. My church has a good number of Ibans. I serve with them and I do activities with them too. And there were sometimes where they asked me that I would like to marry an Ibanese. Moreover, sometimes I hangout at my "kakak angkat" 's residence. She is an Iban, but her husband is a Bidayuh. Amy, her sister-in-law, who is my age stays there too. Amy and I are good friends. We are like a tag-team in church's activities. I could rely on her on administration stuffs and she relies on me on getting things work. Together, we make a great working team. But people misunderstood our relationship and even wanted me to propose her. Haiz... "Babi sama babi mah. Sure bisa kerja bersama." We were born in 1983, the year of pig.

Nevertheless, there are a small community of Kadazans in my church who are great singers. My sweetheart, Phoebe Ng, is a Kadazan too, but she is more Chinese than Kadazan. Mom Chinese/Kadazan-Dusun. Father is a Chinese. There were at some occasion that they would like to see me getting married to a Sabahan, but definitely not Phoebe Ng. She is 21yr different.

Lately, I was thinking about these. Why these things happening? And I could come up with only one answer. It is because of the God's blessing. He has blessed me with a gift to blend with any community regardless race, age, and religion. I thank my Lord for this gift and I pray that He will continue to bless me with this gift.

Last but not least, I would like to marry only my love. I wish this is possible.

How I see marriage

Recently, somebody argued with me that it is okay to leave a man that could not provide wealth, does not have a good education background and the capability to earn a lot of money. She was arguing with me unrealizing that I was actually looking at relationship on another perpective and not opposing her thought.

When a girl chooses her man based on his wealth, education, and capability to earn, she is making a choice. This is not from love, but I wouldn't deny that there are successful marriages born from this choice. Marrying the man whom a girl or a woman has loved, doesn't guarantee a successful marriage too.

Marriage is a risk. If you are looking at a bussiness perspective, it is like an investment in shares. If in construction, it is like building a mega structure. Anytime, a small mistake could bring a big disaster.

We take risk marrying a stranger, though he or she is not totally stranger, but he/she is at a certain extend. We take risk making baby/ies. Children change our budget flow. We take risk in buying property for family. We take risk in buying insurance, choosing school and education for children, and so on.

Many of us could agree that marriage is a risk. But when we could say marriage is love and if we realize and could see that love is love, and no other things or whatever could replace 'love', and because love stands by itself without any other word that matches it. What is the better way to describe a marriage?

Marriage is from love. We choose a better man or woman as our partner. But is it out of love? If we love the person we choose, then there is no wrong in choosing. But if couldn't love the person we choose, then make sacrifices to sustain the marriage.

Quarrel for Quality

Two days ago, I was talking to my friend about the current happenings. Suddenly, he popped-out a suprise that he would be getting himself registered with his girlfriend soon. I've asked him, "Why not you wait until you could get married instead of getting only legally registered?"
Anyway he is a Hindu. And I could say more than that if he is a Catholic, ...%#@#..

Then he was telling me about how he and his gf always have different opinions on things. He said that they would always start with a quarrel and end up hugging each other.. Hahaha....Each of them has quality of thinking, ideas, leadership and a different point of view that make their relationship maturing everyday. If either of them just goes along with another's opinion, they would produce a bad quality result at the end.

Further to this topic, he was telling me on how he finds that I am sometimes able to give some ideas that are good and unique. I have inherit them for my parents because they always have different opinions. And most of the time, I would see them quarreling to each other to produce a solution.

Then at sudden, my mind was flying beyond present to some possibilities. If I and 'her' always have differences in opinions, beyond quarrel I would probably get a fly-kick on my face and an Aikido slam as a finishing move. And on floor I would lie for an hour or more. Hehe...

Things to be Revived. Maybe

There are a lot of things that I have not been doing for a long time. These things once were my hobbies, my talents, my wonderful part of my life that I miss very much.

First of all, I miss drawing. Not drawing buidings or construction details, but drawing nature, potrait, a beautiful scene and sketching. The last time I drew, was for 'someone'. I gave her a potrait but even that also I drew after a long break from drawing. I love art and I feel that I should start drawing again.

Second. I wanted to start playing Chinese Chess with somebody. I miss playing it.

Third. Play keyboard. My uncle has fixed my keyboard but somehow he lost the power supply adapter. I play organ in church but I cant play secular songs there.

Fourth. It has been a while that I've composed hymns. The last time I composed was in last year for the Kuala Lumpur Archdiocese Bahasa Malaysia Choir competition, entitled 'Persembahan Hasil Bumi', which was sung in four voices by Our Lady of Guadalupe, Puchong.

I am Not Good as a Friend

When I was in Form Six, I was one of the leaders that lead the most of Form Sixers. I was then the President of Science and Maths Society. All of us were great friends and we did activities together most of the time. And as usual, I have always been the ‘thorn among the roses’. At sometime in the middle of the term, I proposed to joint-venture with the Rotary Club to do fund raise for both clubs and gave this task to a friend. But at the end, she couldn’t do her task, so I took over the project at the last minute though my members were against it, and finished the task. From that day onwards, many of the committee members and members, including the Vice President, have resigned their positions with no confidence vote against me. What hurt me the most is the friendship that I have spoiled. Most of them were not very friendly to me after this incident.

Again, in the college, some friends and I revived the Catholic Students Society (CSS) during the 11th INTIMA term. It was progressively getting bigger though we hardly have music during our gatherings. I met a lot of friends, and three of them became my personal great friends. I see them as the ‘Three Pillars of CSS Foundation’. Many of the members became my good friends, and we sometimes hung out together. But, again I screwed up the whole thing when I told somebody that I like that person. Definitely she freaked out, but I never thought that this could spoil the progressive bond among CSS members. Many of my friends then lost the family being in join CSS, since I was still there on the ‘chair’.

A few days ago, one of my friends opened his thought and commented on my behaviour that he kept for a long time in my guess. Though it was hurting, it was true in the sense of how my friend have been looking at me all this while. Once again, I feel that I should be ashamed on myself for not being a good friend.

Whoever might be right or wrong here but the point is I still hurting some people that I call them as friends. If just …

Kau lah Ilhamku Selamanya

The first day I saw you,
I fell in love with you.
Oh how beautiful you are,
How beautiful you are.

I wondered what is your name,
I wondered where you are from,
I wondered when would I meet you again,
I wondered would you be my friend.

When we met again, I was very happy,
Oh how wonderful the day was,
I was shy to approach you, yet eager to talk to you,
But, you were the first one to say ‘Hi’ to me.

We became good friends, yet I wished you could be my girl,
But I was pretending that I have no interest on you,
Oh how I wish I could say, “I love you”,
But I was a coward.

One day, I had courage to tell you how I feel,
I had courage to tell you that, “I love you”,
But you politely rejected it,
And I accepted it with a great respect.

Now I know I should let you go,
But I still love you. I know I do,
How I wish if you have said, “Yes” that time,
But, I must respect your choice.

I hope that you will meet someone very special,
I wish that you would accept me as a good friend, at least,
I hope you don’t mind if I still love you.

I remembered the first day I met you,
The day, I fell in love with you,
You are still my inspiration. You are,
Kau lah Ilhamku.

Life is too Beautiful to Regret

After yesterday, I was thinking whether to tell her that I still like her, or not to tell her. I have told her once but it was not a "Yes" as an answer and moreover it was not a good approach either. This time, I had a thought, "Why not I try it again?". Well. If I could persuade her to say, "Yes", than I would be very happy.

But again, part of me says, "No" to this. I clearly understand that I am unworthy for her. Even if she says, "Yes", I would still agree that I am unworthy for her. She deserves, she definitely deserves a far far far better person than me.

The moments I could see her, talk to her, hear her laughter, be with her and say "Kau Ilhamku" within me, I am and I will treasure them. I am confident that because of my love, my prayer, my good deeds and my sacrifice, God will bless her with good life.

All that I am looking forward from this for myself is that I never regret this, one day. Life is too beautiful to regret whatever I am doing.

Declare Beauty Again

I am 'The Crazy One', Dude

Every individual has a certain level of leadership of their own as God created humans and He gave us the responsibility to take care of the earth. There is one kind of leadership that always steals my interest. The kind I call, 'the crazy one'.

Getting involved with the youngs since in my college, I see the necessity being crazy, immature (not totally), being a friend to everybody regardless races and dare to embarrass myself. But again, as a young adult, I feel that being serious on somethings is important too. With the mixture of these, both extrovert and introvert characters has been explored, making the leadership 'the crazy one'.

Once, when I was teaching catechism at Our Lady of Fatima, Brickfields, all teachers went to a refresment camp. At the camp, we did a session where we sticked a blank paper at our back and went around getting comments about ourselves from each and everyone. After it had done, I read through the comments for me. One wrote that I am a quiet, shy and an unsocial type since the person had always seen me sitting quietly at one corner after mass everyweek. Another wrote that I am very active, friendly and like to disturb and make jokes with others. Finally at the bottom of the paper, one wrote that I am 'orang gila'. It means crazy.

I feel very grateful with the craziness I have. With involvement in church's activities as well as ASAYO of Bahasa Malaysia group, I could not stop being 'the crazy one'. Thanks to my mottos, "Never say old" and "A busy person always got time for extra" that are keeping me to run along with this life without looking at tiredness.

Live Young

Life with Children

Children can make our world wonderful. With innocents around us, we would feel that we could forget about this world totally and our whole concentration goes to the children. Since young, there were many children that I have raised, played with, taught and so on. You may say that you did that too, but have you ever blogged it? These are some children that became so special to me.

First would be my two sisters, Siru and Thooba. Both are two and four years younger than me. Though sometime we fought, scolded each other, hurt each other and many more, my sisters were, are and will be forever ‘my two eyes’. I had given up a lot for them, especially for the first one.

Second would be my cousin, Kiruba. She is not a near cousin but when we were neighbours, her mother used to leave her in my house every morning before she leaves to work. That was the first and infact the last time too my mom became a Nanny. Kiruba was then a baby of few months but she could recognize me very well compare to my mom and sisters. So somehow, I became her nanny instead of my mom.

After that, Kiruba once again came to my house when she was going to kindergarten. At that time, I was in Form Three. Since I was going to school on morning and come back at evening, I hardly spent time with her. This time, my sisters became close to her. Well. Atleast Siru stopped complaining why I could get closer with some children compare to them.

After some years, another far cousin, Aruna, who was also my neighbour at that time, always dropped by my house. Her grandmother’s house and my house were just 7 metres away. She doesn’t like her grandma, so she would always escape from there and spent the whole morning till evening at my house. Sometimes, she would spent the whole day and mess my house. Haha..

At the same year, my family and me sometimes went to Klang to join the mass celebration at Our Lady of Lourdes church. In Klang, my cousins Theeban, Arievin and Clare, who always asks me to tell some funny stories, are there. Arievin, Theeban and I would sometimes talk about football, football, football and maybe some other stories. Once, I have bought a Professional Chess set for Arievin and Theeban since they like to play chess. For Clare..yet to buy something.

The next would be not one, two or three but more than hundred children. These children were my catechism students, both my class students and non-class students. These kids (now have become teenagers) were great. In enjoyed the moments of their laughter, the time I could spent with them when they were sad, their teasing, their jokes, their intellectual ideas and opinions and many more.

Then, there are three siblings. Children of my ‘kakak angkat’. Meiliyini aka Momok, Meiline aka Meiline, and Alicia aka Cha Cha. These girls always remind me of my idol, Donald Egbert’s daughters, the first one I have forgotten the name, Clarissa, and Claudine. Like the Egberts, I believe they too will be blessed and serve the church and be passionate with what they are doing. This family somehow has become mine too and sometimes I sleep at their house.

And finally, Phoebe Love Angel Ng. I call her ‘Naughty Girl’. She likes to point her butt to me. Haha… and somemore tells me that she ate noodles through that. Hahaha…Really very naughty. Since her mom always brings her along wherever she (the mom) goes, at the time when we have church’s activity meeting, she would ‘conteng’ some pictures on empty pages of my note book. Once she drew a seaside view with some clouds. I asked her, “Where are the birds?” So she drew some birds on the clouds and one in the sea. I asked her again, “Why you did draw that bird in the sea?” You know what she answered? “That bird fly fly fly and died” All I could think is ‘such an intelligent view from a 5 years old’.

These backgrounds do not make me special but, the memories of being with them are special. Siru, Thooba, Kiruba, Aruna, Clare, Theeban, Arievin, the catechism children, Momok, Meiline, Cha Cha, and Phoebe Ng, all these children made and making my life cheerful. I may not get the chances like these again anymore as I am getting older. I know that one day, these memories will be my treasure to keep me going through my tough life in future.

Mind Your Phrases

Has anybody warned you before, "Watch what you are saying!"

You know English language is maybe fun to learn, but it must be used in speeches or in conversations very carefully because you might get into a big trouble if you never specify your phrases properly.

Example number one:
When you want to praise somebody, please say it properly.
There is a girl called Carmen who has a very good memory. She could hardly forget any things and information. Her friend, Ryan, is really impressed with her capability to remember many things. So, one day he praised her, "You are as good as an elephant."
She gave him a nice punch on his face right after he has said this. Our friend, Ryan is really innocent in this matter. He was praising her, because she could remember things like an elephant do, but unfortunately, Carmen is fat girl.

Example number two:
Caution. People are not used to old English words.
Jude and Judith were passing time in a mall at one evening. Judith hardly knows Jude because she only met him five days before. As they were walking around Jude's friend, Josh, saw them. So Josh went towards them to say, "Hello." As they are enjoy talking and walking around, Jude's handphone rang, so he walked away a bit further from them to answer the call. So Josh took the opportunity to tell some truth about Jude to Judith.
Josh said, "I am really happy to see Jude finally got a girlfriend. I always have hoped that he would get a girlfriend one day because he is a gay boy"
Judith was really freaked out after she heard this, and she quickly walked away from there and Jude never again heard from her.
Our good friend Josh meant, "He is a happy boy." but unfortunately, he innocently thought that Judith would not misunderstand what he meant.

Example number three:
One alphabet could change the whole meaning.
Tony is a famous celebrity in Hollywood. He became so famous because he slimmed down so much in a few months. Now, he looks so charming and many girls are crazy for him. One day, a magazine came to interview him. The interviewer asked Tony, "How did you managed to slim down so much in just a few months?"
Tony answered, "O well. I got aids, actually."
After he has said this, the magazine made a big story out of his answer and made his life miserable. Many more magazines, television stations, paparazzi, and his used to be fans bombarded him with a lot of accusations.
Our good friend Tony was actually having two gym tutors to help him to slim down.

So my friends. Make sure your phrases are right before you say them.
I wonder if I one day marry a happy girl, should I introduce her to my friends as, "She is my gay partner"?

All Guys Are The Same

Have you ever heard girls complaining, "All guys are the same"?... Is it really true?.. Well if it is, I am proud to be a guy..

Basically, this complain occurs when the girl got frustrated with our attitude or dissapointed with us. These words could evoke the ego of a guy, and he will get angry or maybe broken hearted. Why should you react these ways? Think positively.

"All guys are the same" tells us that we share a lot in common. Undisputedly, most of the guys know what is masturbation, how fun it is when disturbing girls, how not to get serious in a relationship with a girl, how an exposure of our favourite body part of a girl could turn us on, how a sexy chic passing by could attract our attention, and so on..

And at the same time, we also know what is being a gentleman, how to respect the girls, what is serious relationship with a girl, how not to look a girl as a sex symbol only, and so on..

Mostly every guy have these knowledges and attitudes. It is only depends on how extreme a guy is involved in these above matters. When a girl complains, "All guys are the same", she is true and that is what making a guy, a guy. If you could find a guy that is totally different from any other guys, probably, he is cheating on you about his attitude or probably, he is not a guy at all.

If a girl wanted to have a relationship with a guy, she must accept the fact that all guys are the same. Afterall, we shouldn't blame girls of this mindset because they are humans too. Humans have a lot of expectations, but love could cease expectations away. Love is unconditional.

So to all guys. Be happy when a girl says to you, "All guys are the same" because she agrees that you are born with a dick. But please respect their opinion though they could be wrong. Afterall, they are our inspiration.

Money or Love?

One of my friend who was having his own bussiness went bankrupt because his partner cheated him and ran away with the company's money. This has happened a few months ago, but i do not know until he rang me up. Since that day, I was journeying with his suffering and tried my best to help him find a job, getting him a motorcycle license and ext.

As I was sometimes visiting and had some chat with him, he told me that though he is broken, he felt that he is still lucky to have his girlfriend supporting him to pay his credit card debt as he is having debt on loan to pay. I felt very impressed and immediately I felt a high respect on her.

My friend told me, "Anbu. Do you think that any Chinese girl would do as what she is doing if they are facing the same situation?" He questioned me such way not because he is racist, but because he is an Indian and his girlfriend is a Chinese.

I could only smile and say in my heart, "Why it should be Chinese girl. Shouldn't any girl of any race could do the same thing? I dont see any different between a Chinese and any other race. We are all human race"

My friend is a very hardworking person. I sometimes feel ashamed to compare myself with him. He is good in Public Relation, good in Marketing, good in keeping contacts, good in delivering job in time and as an Indian, he could speak Cantonese fluently. He has every qualities of a Malaysian bussinessman should have except one thing. He easily trust his friends, and that is not a good thing in bussiness. "Don't trust anybody in bussiness." That's what he should have done but it was too late for this time.

I believe that he could come back again. I have never doubted his determination and capability to be successful again, though he is having a very tough time facing what he has lost, now.

Coming back to his girlfriend. Both of them knew and been together for nine, long years. She was then a sales girl with poor English and Bahasa Malaysia command. Her SPM result too was poor plus with her parents did not support her to further study due to they felt ashamed of her. My friend, then was already making good income working as a sales person. He supported her to take up some computer courses, continued with UBS training, and went to do Accountant course and now she is doing LCCI. He even gave some money of RM8000 for her to buy a car. And now, she is living a respectful life as her parents no more feel ashamed of her.

But yesterday, she called up my friend and said that she would like to break-up with him because he is worthless. I am not making up on the word 'worthless' because this is what exactly the word she used. I do not need to further say how my friend felt about this.

Coming back to 'love life'. I don't exactly get the point why money is more important than a man's capability to be successful, for some girls? Is money is the most important thing?

You could say, money is important because of financial support. I would say I agree with you, but how worthful is money compare to the believe of a woman on a man that he could be successful? A man with a vision, a dream, and working towards it, is a successful man to be. He is not a cheap person because he is working towards his success. Falling on the way, is usual, but coming back is the most important.

If you ask me, I would want a girl that together with me on the journey to be a successful person, as I would be walking with her towards her success. I am not talking a success within 2 or 3 years. I am talking about 8 to 10 years time. I dont believe in short time success. It is not very concrete.

I read an article on the Star today. A boyfriend says this to his girlfriend,"I love you even during the days when I dont feel it so much." The girl replied, "What? You mean you dont love me on certain days?!"

The boyfriend says, "No. I do love you very much. There are times when I feel it more, like when we are both happy. feeling in love is important, but what we do and the action we take when we're upset with each other and not in the 'in love' mode is more important."

Sorry to say this but I really look down on girls that think that money is the most important.

The Roses of My Life

Shariah, Nor Hidayah, Goh Meei Ying, Liew Mei Yao, Arivaligi, Anbu Arasi, Pang Siew Lin, Pang Wen Lhi, Liu Xiu Cong, Sek Lee, Janet Ong, Desi Wilianty Ng, Emelia Satang, Clare Thong Sit May, Nicole Chai, Punitha, Chan Siew Lin, Hui Meian, Jennifer, Josephine and Elaine Lai.

You might be wondering who are these girls. Perharps, you have heard of the saying, "In every man's success, there is a woman". Well. I would not say that i have succeeded in my life, but these girls have played each and every role that gave my life some new destinies, hopes, motivations and dreams.

Arivaligi was my childhood friend. She is very pretty as her name. She was my first girl friend during my primary. Girl friend, not 'girlfriend'.

Nor Hidayah is a beautiful petite Malay girl, who became my girl buddy during my Form Five. From her I learned how not to freak-out when talking with girls during my teenage since I was in all-boys school for a long time.

Liew Mei Yao, was my classmate when i was in Form Six. Her face looks like cat's face. Since we took the same schoolbus, I sometimes drop at her stop and walk with her to my house. We were neighbours. She was my Vice-President for Science and Maths Society who later resigned because of my own incapability to lead. This infact put my self esteem down but I managed to understand and accept my failure after some years.

Pang Wen Lhi is my Gay Girl. She always seems to be happy that I felt I should call her "Gay Girl". From her I learned to smile in every situation and keep the sufferings within. It is hard though.

Liu Xiu Cong was my Maths rival for some semesters when I was at INTI college. She made learning Maths fun again since I like to compete Maths with others. She is my first China friend.

Janet Ong. I would say I had a little crush on her for sometime. Perharps because of her child-like attitude. I admire her leadership capability though her communication capability is just okay. Me and Ken Wayne used to bully her during the 10th INTIMA term.

The following people, I would prefer not to expose their names but they have played a major role in my life. Love life. Though none of them I had a relationship with, love life is a major impact in me.

My first love, a Malay girl during Form Three. I cant really see how she has changed or impacted my life, but somehow because of her I made a decision that relationship with a Malay girl is a no..no.. I think you know why.

And then, during my Form Six, I liked a Chinese girl. I call her 'Morning Glory'. Perharps if some of you notice, my mechanical pencil was always a silver Morningglory brand. I would say that my choice of career changed because of her. I chose to study Quantity Surveying so that I could make some good money and propose her one day. But at the same time, after Form Six, I thought of priesthood too. That is very weird but true.

And I did my tuition at TAR College for STPM resit. I get only 2 principles so I went to resit STPM. There in TAR College, the hottest Chinese chic in my class, infact the whole of STPM classes, had crush on me. Now, I am supprised and can't believe as well as you, but it is a fact. Throughout my studies at TAR, I pretended like I dont notice that she likes me since I was still in like with 'Morning Glory'

At INTI International University College, I liked an Indonesian girl for sometime. This was not because I fell in love with her, but because I felt pity on her and of her emotional downfall. Because I have spent sometime listening to her stories, I was able to give my ears to listen to others' stories, complains, and grumbles. I was not a person that listen to people's heartbroken stories.

And finally, my current love. I already in love with her at first sight. I never believed in 'first sight love' but it has happened on me. But I always knew that I don't deserve her. Sometimes I hope that another girl would enter in my life or perharps my heart stop falling in love anymore. Why? These names are not the full list. This list contains some of my friends, crushes and my loves only. Infact, the list of my crushes is a lot more. Person like me, should not be in a commitment but rather just have a friendship. My father named me Anbuchudar that means, 'Flame of Love'. I am really Flame of Love, perharps. Hehe.

Every girls, friends, crushes, or love, has played some roles in every little things in my life. I had never forgotten them, and I pray and hope for blessings of good life for them.

What Malays?!!

For sometimes I have been noticing that my church fellows always wrongly describe the East Malaysians. They call them Malays.
Malays?!! What Malays?!!

First of all, we in West Malaysia know three groups of people very well that we think that Malaysia is formed by these three groups of people. Simply said, UMNO, MCA and MIC. Malays, Chinese and Indians. That is why that when people from Sarawak or Sabah come to Peninsula, we call them Malays.

Like we in West, have these three races including Baba Nyonya, Portugese, Sikhs and more, they too have multi races like Bidayuh, Kadazan, Iban, Murud, Dusun, Chinese, Malays, Indians and more.

And like us, they too are Malaysians and NB: Malaysia formed when Sabah, Sarawak and Singapore joined Malaya. Malaya is the Peninsula. Malaya is not Malaysia. I keep on hearing people asking them questions like, "So. How did you find here in Malaysia?" or asking me, "So Anbu. Now you are with the Malay group is it?".

In Sabah and Sarawak, there are Malays and these people are not. We must get it right and know the cultures of Malaysians. Every year, the Government promotes Visit Malaysia campaign but we would rather choose to travel to India, China or ext. Why not we travel around Malaysia and learn others' livings and happenings?

My friends. Next time you meet the East Malaysians, don't call them Malays if they are not. Get to know their background, and you will know them well and learn something extra.

The least I can tell you is, "There are a lot to venture. Get your ass up and explore"

Our God never makes sense

When we talk about the Wonders of the world, the Pyramids, Taj Mahal, Great Wall, ext, we have the common questions, "How did they built them?". This question arises in our mind because our brain could only accept if something is logic.

Could you believe if a solid looking object that is actually hard and stiff, actually not solid? Could you believe that we with advance technology could not compete with the ancient designs and concepts? Could you believe that God made himself a man, and lived as a man and God at the same time? Could you believe that God suffered like man do though pain is nothing for Him?

Glass is a solid looking object, but infact it is not a solid. It is a liquid made hard that melts in a long period.
I could not answer the second question, but I believe somewhere there could be an answer.

The third one, is about Jesus Christ. God made Himself in a human form and born from a virgin. A divine creature should born from a holy and guarded creature. Humans are sinful creature, but in order to mingle and mix around with us, the Lord has to preserve a woman, pure, holy, innocent and immaculate from every sin. And that is Mary our Mother.

Jesus, is the human form of God Himself, left His mighty power, His authority, His rule over all creations so that He could feel the pain when He falls down, He could suffer the hunger like us, He could work and sweat like we do. My friends. He loves us so much that He wanted meet us personally, and eat together with us but we have rejected Him because His way is not so cool.

We could never agree if the President of USA wipe our shoes. We could never agree if the King is going out with us for a dinner in Mamak stall. We could never believe if a multimillionaire is buying a RM6.00 T-Shirt for his son.

God, like in the story of Prodigal son, made himself so humble. In that story, the second son asked the father to give him his share. According the Jews custom, when a son asking from a father to split the property when the father is still alive, it is like telling the father, "Go and die". Jesus tells us that we like that son, hurt our God but like the father in this story, God forgives us. And again, after the son came back, the father embraces him and celebrated a feast. Will our own father do that for us? Because God loves us so much, He humbled and put down Himself lower than us, therefore He is being judged as not a God. When we say God, Holy Fear must emerge in our hearts. Do you know that He has the authority to destroy us and we have no rights to question Him. But is that what our God is? No..

His authority on us, His love on us, His way of treating, His presence with and in us have never been making sense.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia. Blessed Easter everybody

How CSS has changed me

Before I start with CSS, let me bring you to back to the second week at INTI College Malaysia, Jan 2005.
During that time, every clubs was exhibiting for new recruitment. I was then looking for these two clubs only, the Catholic Society and the Chess Club. Somehow I couldn't find them so I went to the Student Affairs to find out about these two clubs. Mr. Robert, a Kenyan SAO officer greeted me. He told me that these two clubs were dead for a long time and then he asked me, "Will you revive them?"

I was shocked since I was new in INTI and I do not know how to approach this matter. Anyway, this question had been running in my head for sometime and I eventually posted in INTIonline forum about forming the Catholic Society and the Chess Club.
The responds for the Chess Clubs were great, so I focused on reviving the Chess Club. At April 2005, the Chess Club was formed and I became the Vice Chairperson. At the time I took over the Chairperson post from Koh Wei Bing for the next term, I put in effort to make variety of activities. I went closer with relationship with 10th INTIMA and I was able to get a lot of chances and opportunities to make use for the progress of my club. I had a vision, a dream for the club. During the 9th INTIMA Award Presentation and 10th INTIMA Installation event, the Mind Games Club won the Best Indoor Club award and AUP Club won the Best New/Revived Club. So my target is to beat them both for the next term. Finally the Chess Challenge Club, name changed during my term, won the Best Indoor Club beating the Mind Games Club and the Most Progressive Club beating the AUP Club and other new/revived clubs. Though a big achievement for the club, I was not happy with the way I won them. Jing Hua took over the club for the 11th INTIMA term.

During 11th INTIMA I was not involved in any club and the Catholic Society also yet to be revived. During this long break, I managed to humble myself from title glory. Somewhere at the end of 11th INTIMA term, I posted again at INTIonline to form the Catholic Society. The first meeting, Alicia, Leo and Justin Lim responded. From there, I tried again and more people joined to form CSS. For me every first batch of the seniors became my very wonderful friends. I was very happy to meet them every moment in college. Together we have organised events, had fun, shared jokes, ate out, and did more to be a family. But somehow, this bond did not remain forever. I believe I was the cause of this sudden collapse of the CSS. I was already wanted to resign and prepared my resignation letter since the seniors started to leave CSS. There were many days that I cried for my failure to bring them back. I had to make so many sacrifices to secure this club from dying, and more hurting was to see my friends support me by sacrificing their time and studies. But the Lord is so merciful that He blessed the CSS to survive and gave me the courage to continue to lead.

The end of 12th INTIMA term was coming, I and Sarah, the Vice Chairperson, decided to appoint Gerard Wong to take over from me. We knew that Gerard will go through more challenges. We knew he will be suffering but we know that Gerard is the right person to take over the club. Though I do not see it, I know that Gerard probably also not happy with his performance as a Chairperson. This will continue to the next person and so on. The work should not be accomplished so that the journey can be continued.

Somehow, during the 12th INTIMA Award Presentation and 13th INTIMA Installation night, I was very very happy. Although, I did not accomplish my vision for the CSS, I am going to miss the CSS, my friends, the whole INTI and it's life, I was happy to hand over the CSS to Gerard. I felt happy that there was a continuation for CSS. We, the 12th INTIMA Catholic Students Society, are the pioneers the club and the 13th INTIMA Catholic Students Society is successfully growing it. And to make it a firm society, it will take many more years to come. We have created the path, and it was good. The current CSS, you too have continued to make the path longer, and one day everyone of us, the members of INTI-UC CSS, will have a great story to tell of our journey on this path.

Oh Boy..

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
The seriousness of your love:
You have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Tagged:
Nicole
Wendy
Alicia Chan
Maria
Gerard Wong

Show Me the Light

Everyday I wish you would be by my side...When I am tired..When I am happy...When I am sad..When I walk alone...When I am asleep..I wish I could talk to you during these moments...Embrace you within my arms..
But everytime I wish you were there, I wish that my heart could give you up...I wish that I could stop this hopeless dream...
I know that you are out of my reach...You are an angel...I am unworthy...
Lord..Everytime when I come before you, I would pray for an answer...Why am I trapped with this situation?...What is your plan for me from this?...I am still walking in dark, Lord...Please draw me out from this darkness...

Wo Mei Zi Zi

This month, I have finished my probation of 3 months and my salary increased. Not so much but still I am happy that some money going to EPF and some extra money for my own investment.
Moreover, Valentine's Day falls on this month too but unfortunetly nobody could enjoy my treat. Being single also gives some positive results especially when you could save some money in the month of February.
Anyway, for those guys who would like to make your girlfriends happy, buy some flowers. Don't ignore my point of view just because I am single. The formula actually works.

Gay guy + Nosegay of flower = Gay girl -------> Gay couple

KUBM

KUBM stands for Kerasulan Umat Bahasa Malaysia. As in my own English, Bahasa Malaysia Apostalate. This organisation executes activities respectively for the East Malaysian, Indonesians, Natives, and other group that joins the Bahasa Malaysia Catholic group in West Malaysia.
KUBM formed in diocese level (I am from KL Archdiocese) as one big group and some churches in the diocese have their own KUBM components respectively. Kuala Lumpur, Selangor, Pahang, Negeri Sembilan, and Terengganu form KL Archdiocese. My parish, Our Lady of Guadalupe (OLOG) has its own KUBM since 2006.
This year, KUBM of OLOG is hosting Pesta Menuai (Harvest Festival) on 5th July at diocese level. All the above states will be joining together to organise this wonderful event that reflects great cultures of different places. People from all over Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore and many more will be joining as one community to celebrate this event.
It is a tough task for us but with the blessing of God and the help of my fellow church members, I am not that worried of putting some effort in this event. Community life is beatiful.

Similarity in Attitudes

Recently I noticed that there are many people around me reminding of my friends far away..
I knew a little girl named Anna who reminds me of Steffi.. She is quiet and very helpful as Steffi...
Then there is a guy younger than me by the name Eric reminding me of my primary school buddy, Agilan. Once upon a time me, Agilan and Steven are good friends until the time separates us.
Then another little girl of my fellow church member's daughter. I do not her name but me and her father are good friends together with other church members. She reminds me of Desi.
And Famela reminding me of Indrayani...
There are some that I couldn't remember at this moment. But the one I won't forget is Phoebe. This girl is just 4 yrs old and very very very much similar in attitude of my good friend, Clare. I could talk a lot about Phoebe because she is the only one of many children that I know in my church who is very very close to me.
But in all that similarity in many children, there are always some differences. That is the greatness of our Lord who creates humans in differences though we are from same places and similarities though we are separated each end of the world.

I Got A New Girlfriend

Haha... Gotcha... You thought the title was real ah? No lah... Where got girlfriend... But anyway, let's talk about something interesting. Let's talk about being gay..
We see a lot of guys and girls are nowadays being gay everywhere and anywhere.. They are not shy to admit that they are in a gay mood... If you ask me. Why should someone feel shy to admit that he or she is gay.. Me too a gay person.. though sometime not very gay... but that's the ups and downs of my personality...
And so I encourage all of you, to be gay...BE GAY... Dont be shy to admit that you are a gay boy or girl... Be gay for no reason...
And enjoy your gay moment in a group.. It is no fun if you being gay with only your partner...

In my dictionary, gay means happy....And to those 'mangkuk' who took it the other way, read my posting again by replacing the word gay into happy.